Filed under: Life
Preface: This post is going to be a lot different from pretty much anything I’ve ever written. It’s abstract in the fact that it relates to true events and problems with deep meaning and importance, but it not in a way that is not directly visible. It’s also my own personal version of free verse, partially because of my realization that the largest crush I’ve ever had is on a fictional character who is a South African poet and activist, writing primarily in free verse (but that is besides the point). This post also has not been planned out in advance, so it may seem to deviate at random moments in ways that are incomprehensible. And as a final note, today is the first day of study period and with three finals on my plate, I would only dedicate the time to write this if it meant a lot to me. What will be said in this post is very important to me, something that has been on my mind lately and something that probably would have impaired my studying habits had I not gotten it out in one way or another. Thank you for being patient with this extended explanation and I hope you enjoy this post.
It is said that we leave our homes and our families to go off someplace new.
Forced to be completely alone in the world, away from everything we were used to.
Then we come here.
When we are ready to leave to head back to our homes and families, we realize something.
Our families will always mean a great deal to us.
But in reality, we have two families now.
And leaving one in favor of the other is just as hard as that original break was.
There are two things in life that matter,
Family and Friends.
Anyone who tells you different is neither part of a family nor has meaningful friends.
The idea of living without one or the other is impossible;
A place where our minds refuse to take us.
Illnesses will strike and bring families closer together.
Impending moves will drive friends to realize how much they mean to one another.
Extended separation will severe ties and make others stronger.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how far apart people are,
Friendship and family always remain.
That’s because both live in the hearts, minds, and souls of each of the people they touch.
Now there always comes a time when you’re faced with a crisis;
Something is wrong, not with you but with others.
You’re worried and scared.
With no one to turn to, you ask for advice,
From those family members who have always known the right thing to say or do.
Because in the end, you can’t keep it inside of you,
You have to tell someone, you have to get help.
And the advice they give you is the one that you expected.
This is a problem, you can’t deal with it and neither can they.
Every interaction is now calculated and observed.
You’re looking for clues.
You’re hoping that a light bulb will go off and you’ll see the solution.
But in the end, there is not one.
This crisis is a terrible one.
The greatest thing that you could ever dread could very well happen.
You’re watching it happen,
But you cannot do anything about it.
You can’t stop it.
You can’t force the solution, if there is one to be had.
In the end, you cannot understand how this crisis occurred.
How the person you care about so much could want that,
Could do that,
Not to you but to herself.
To you, she is the greatest person you’ve ever met.
Caring, generous, funny, smart, and driven.
You can’t imagine a world with out her,
Because you know that you’ve become a better person since you met.
How could she look at herself and see that,
And want that,
And do that?
To you, she’s perfect just the way she is.
The person that you will forever strive to be like.
A person that you admire for everything from the moon and back.
But she doesn’t see this.
And is there anything you can do to change it?
You can worry your head off,
That’s already been done.
You can wonder what the worst that could happen is,
But again, our minds don’t let us stretch that far into the deep.
You can convince yourself that nothing’s wrong,
The easiest path,
But one littered with denial.
In the end, there’s not much you can do.
You can only hope that she comes to see herself that way you see her.
Because in the end, it is optimistic to think that your ideas and your views could sway her.
Maybe you dream that if she read this,
Understood that it was about her,
And realized that chances are you were probably crying while writing it,
She would see how her actions are affecting not only herself but you too.
I mean, that’s what your mentor told you.
Explain the hurt you are feeling.
Don’t place it on her,
But on your worry about her.
But question and plead for honesty.
It’s a hope and dream;
Nothing more, nothing less.
Chances are it won’t be read,
It won’t be understood.
So you can stop worrying a bit.
At least you got your ideas out.
But then again, you still will.
It will keep you up at night.
It will impact your studying.
It will make you cry.
It will make you worry.
It will make you wonder what the next step is and where to find it.
At this point,
There’s nothing you can do;
But wait and hope.
Watch and listen.
Take advice and provide understanding.
Be there for her,
Should she decide that she wants to talk.
Tell her how you feel,
Hope that does something, anything.
But most importantly,
Be a friend.
That’s what she needs now more than ever.
“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged. Oh, I realized, it’s hard to take courage. In a world full of people, you can lose sight of it all and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small.
But I see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show. Your true colors, true colors, are beautiful like a rainbow.”
- Cyndi Lauper